TV-discussion between two women in the peak of their lives, both in prosperous familysituations, both with jobs and both with nice husbands. The task is wether the family is a good constellation to live in, is it the ultimate dream?
Lady to the left, in picture, tries to emphasize the obvious risks there are for a woman, to live in such a secretive social form as with only two adults, one man one woman. Through history people have lived in bigger groups, the familycircle contained all kinds of siblings, aunts, oncles and cousins. Today, in our country, the family could, with bad luck, become a social trap, and in most cases it becomes to disadvantage for the woman in the relationship, regarding she gets difficulties to suceed in career and her opportunities to work for a good income to be able to support herself are being reduced. Statistics say that the male often finds himself with a higher income when he becomes a father, the woman, on the other hand, finds herself with a lower, mysterious. Seems society wants to great the father but doesn´t care much about the mother. And these are statistic facts.
Lady to the right, in picture, claims that the family, that is, man and woman and some two or three kids, is what everyone, especially women, should strive for, it´s by all means the best way of living. Society problems in general are not relevant here in this debate, she says, in small families the woman always has the whole and complete power, she´s the one managing the home and household, she´s the one who takes care of and educates the children and she´s the one making all decisions concerning most things about the family. The man has nothing or little to say in such a constellation, nowhere else woman has such opportunities to hold power as in the family situation.
The possibilty of these to opponents to agree to some extent, was obviously very poor. What sort of thread would be appropriate to dabate here, where are the actual problems and disagreements worth talking about, and how come these two women are in such a sharp contradiction to eachother? I ask myself, and that´s what the media ought to aks itself too.
This was a TV show, and it dejected me.
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Interesting. I guess every once in a while TV actually does make one think. :)
ReplyDeleteMy two cents:
I would say both women have good points. In a more collective society, where families are bigger, each individual woman would have less power over the family as a whole, and generally in those situations, the women would look to an older woman to make decisions, thus giving the older woman the power. That's not necessarily bad. In that situation, if you live long enough, you might be able to be the older lady with the power to make the decisions for the families (as to how children are raised and whatnot). Also, some societies set up like that are more or less egalitarian. Some are patriarchal, some matriarchal, and some fairly egalitarian. So, depending on the society, women could have more or less power.
As far as small family units go, sure women can have power in the family. But do they? Each individual unit will be different. Society actually does have quite an affect on the type of units that typically prevail, which is illustrated with things like TV (what family dynamics are typically shown). TV shows are often caricatures of reality, usually with some exaggeration. Woman has control in the home. Man pretends, outside of the home, that he's really in control. Everyone knows woman is in control but pretends along with him because that's how society goes.
It's hard to say what is better for women in general. I don't think there is such a thing. Every woman is different. There are more differences within each gender than there are between the genders, so no one can say what is best for all women. They really can only decide what is best for themselves, individually. But, as always, society at large will affect what is most beneficial in each case as well (what is best for an individual in one society may not be what is best for them in another). You have to look at the big picture and weigh your options.
Yes, no?
"You have to look at the big picture to weigh your options" Of course, precisely, that´s about what I wanted to say in this post!
ReplyDeleteNeither of these women have an actual problem, they discuss relationships and families that are functional and work out well, on the whole. Could be interesting, yes, but shouldn´t be a matter of priority in TV-debates, not as long as our society struggles with increasing unemployment and prolonged ill-health among women. The visible symptoms usually are aching bodies, heartconditions or mental weakness, which medical experts believe indicates women are overworked and live with too much of responsibilities on their shoulders, which they never or very seldom recieve any credit for. Women seem to carry a lot and thanks to that also is given lower salary, women has an important role in the family but a less important one in society as a whole.
I can tell from your comment that you live in another kind of social order concerning egalitarian issues between men and women, that I find interesting! ... please feel free to tell me more about it. In Sweden, a man or a husband, I believe, wouldn´t dare to brag about having control in the family, maybe in front of his workingmates but not in general or in a TV-show!! :-O It´s not considered a good thing, every relationship should be equal, a man having control over a woman would be looked upon as very negative and suspisous.
This our little talk, is a very sensitive issue even over here, hope my blogreaders will be nice to us. :-)