actually nice

Shelters, constructed by your shattered self, just to have some rest from the noise, people talking, arguing and loving you. You don´t want them to get to you, they do you exhausted and tired. Inside your shelters you keep on talking to yourself , building a world of your own where it´s easy to keep control, and where all the struggles have happy endings, in your favourite life of lost hope the days go by and all the evil powers are actually nice, and yourself was a successful artist from the very beginning of the end, because this is the end.
When all is settled you just don´t need anything, there is nothing, your life has become echoes and you don´t need anything at all, you just slowly fade away...
A gain of failure and adversity.


Young blogmate wrote: "There is a leak in my hope". I love the allegory, it´s graphic, that´s what it´s all about, and it becomes empty in the end, from having lost it´s content all through the years. The hollowness spread in your system of red and blue lines and thread, it flows upon your eyes, your lips and your hands, you become totally eaten up by the vicious and empty balloon of hope. Yes.
Now and then you go outside trying to catch up with life and gather new hopes and wishes, only to find yourself stumbling into the bulb of hollowness again, ´cause it feels safe and warm and calm, and noone bothers you there.
Did lack of hope do all that?
I can imagine people sink themselves in big temperated pools, looking for bubbles of leaking hopes. Nice, miss JMM, as are a great part of the thoughts you write about in your blog. Hope may be lost in process ... but we´re still around, aren´t we.
(inspired by JMM and TR´s echoplex)

Fear to rage ...

I´m taking a ride
on my emotion
in a parallell of
universe
in somebody else´s
life.
Why do you keep on
fighting me,
I´m just you,
but in another fear.


It´s going down,
slowly, slowly
it´s going down,
slowly.
It´s raising up,
bit by bit
it´s raising up,
by bit.
It´s going down,
slowly, slowly
it´s going down.
Hope and patience,
despair to rage.

Nine Inch Nails - The Becoming

Solemnly miscellaneous

One could attend in endless discussions about topics in blogsites, what´s interesting to read about and what´s not. I´ve tried, so far, to write about things that are not too personal, in my opinion there´s an immediate risk the text will become extremely boring if there are notes about what you had for breakfast or at what time you go to bed. But then, maybe it´s me, I´m the boring kind, not being interested in such issues. That´s what a blog is all about, it could contain just anything, anytime, and for everyone to make a choice, wether you want to put effort into it or not.

I, myself, have become a notorious blogger, I try and keep three of them alive, one jolly and miscellaneous, one serious and deep and one in a foreign language, english. Time will tell wich one of them will be the most succesfull. I guess the LB-blogg has some readers, I get reflections and comments now and then, and people tell me it´s fun and interesting to read it.

Why I started this page in english I can´t explain in any other way than that it´s a challenge, to find out if I can manage, I solemnly admit that. I will be very proud of myself if I succeed.

I fear my writings in english may be more personal than others, it´s due to the fact that it´s not in my native words, it´s naturally more difficult to write about depths within yourself or to make jokes about politicians and celebrities in another languge than your own. It takes some exercise. Have patience. In a while we will share thoughts through the world, in english.

photo: Michael Levin